I'm Back

Well I guess it's time to make sense of shit again. Let me tell you about the last week. Well it actually started about 2 weeks ago. The friday before last , I went to my grandfather's house. He told me these stories about coming to America. How he used to drink. And how he met my grandmother, who wouldn't go out with him becuase she heard he drank.He wasn't like an "alcoholic" or anything.But those were different times back then. Even casual beer drinking was looked down upon by many people. That was before the advertising blitz that made a "cold beer" a normal activity. Before it was a mark of the lower classes. My grandma was a devoutly religeous woman, who spent her life doing stuff for other people. And to her anyone who took one drink was someone who was open to self destruction. So my grandfather drove to a bridge , and threw his last bottle of alcohol into the water. And never drank again. They were married later on. My grandfather became a pilot during WW II . We heard this story how he buzzed my grandmother in his plane while she was hanging out clothes. And how she was so scared and irritated by this (because she was a practical , orderly type of woman) she never let him forget it. He thought it was funny . She was always correcting him, telling him how things should be and taking care of him their whole life together. I remember how she always used to cook him dinner. They slept in seperate bedrooms because he hated the cold and she hated the heat. He always had an electric blanket. When we were kids , we used to sleep over at my grandma's house. She had this paneling that looked like these evil eyes , right where the knots in the wood were. Used to scare me to death as a kid. And this alarm clock that would be going tic..tic..tic..tic.. all night . I would sit there hiding from the monsters listening to the clock. In the bathroom she had this sticker on the doorknob that were two cartoon eyeballs. My aunt, who was the baby of the family stuck that sticker on there as a kid and everyone was forbidden to peel it off. My grandma would tell us all about God and all of the stories from the Bible. And she used to do corespondence courses for children in Africa to learn about Christianity. We used to watch Sonny and Cher , Donnie and Marie, and Carol Burnette together. Same shows I watched with my mom when I was at my house.She used to have this strange way of saying the word "why?" . She called children's toys "pretties." She loved to cook. One of her best holidays was Thanksgiving, because she was center of attention becuase of the cooking. One Thanksgiving was the best I ever remember. We had this old convertable , and my grandparents were playing around in it like they were kids. We took more pictures that day than we ever had at any holiday. One big family picture too. That night in 2001 I went to bed. I got a phone call from my grandfather that night asking me if my mom was there. She had been staying with me and my son sometimes at night back then. But that night she went to her house. I was half asleep when he called. The next morning my mom called me and told me the news. After that great day , my grandma woke up , went to the hall and died of a heart attack. My grandfather was alone. He had had a stroke a year prior to that , and had worked his way from a wheelchair to a walker to a cane, and was finally walking around normally. We all worried about him. But he did fine . He spent a lot of time at mom's with my son, and was enjoying his life with the grandkids. He was still driving , but had problems with his right side. One day he asked me if I could loan him a gun. The neighborhood around him was getting bad, home invasions and all that . He lived up the road from me so I knew what he was talking about. Mom and dad were talking about building him a small house on their property. They have a lot of land and it's surrounded buy a six foot privacy fence. They have ponds, and animals , and my brother's and cousins houses are all there on the land. But since he hadn't moved yet , I told him I would find him a gun he could use with one hand becuase of his stroke. So I brought him a .38 over. We hung out , I sat on his bed and we talked for about three hours. He told me some great stories. Some I never heard before. He told me he was ready to die at any time. And when I mentioned moving to my mom and dad's he said somthing about how he never made plans too far ahead. He was happy. 2 Mondays later, I was on a job for my dad . He called me and told me , " your grandfather just burned up in his shed." My dad is very casual about speaking of death , because he has lost both parents and three brothers and a sister. He has seen a lot of people die, like I have. But he was very disturbed by this . He just didn't show it until later. My grandfather was working on his lawnmower and a fire started , and the mower exploded. Burned down his "workshop" and him with it. Wasn't expecting that one. The funeral was packed. He had a lot of friends. I learned one thing. People tend to make you out to be a weak piece of shit out here in the real world when you try to help and give a damn about other people. But when a person like that dies, they have the best following of anyone you'll ever see. Made me feel like I may have some hope yet. Both my grandparents were people who put others first. They were missed more than anyone because they contributed so much to people's lives. My grandma left a lot of ungraded papers behind those little kids in Africa sent her. And my grandfather used to grow the gardens at the church. And all the people they used to help out are going to always remember them. The casket was closed becuase he was burned so badly. My father actually found his wedding ring in the rubble, had it cleaned and put with him. Looked brand new. The fire never touched it. And he got his American flag from the US governement, and a thank you from the president for his service to the country. He loved this country, and always told us how much better it was here and how hard the life in Europe was whe he was younger. I feel like an era has ended. When my grandma dies, it wsa like the lights went out in her part of the house, like it was another dimension. Today , I went to the house, and sat on the bed I spent a few hours just two weeks ago sitting on. I sat the exact same place and looked over where my grandfather was sitting. As I walked out, it was like a candle being put out in yet another part of the house. My grandparents are all gone. One both sides of the family.I remember my grandfather was visiting the vault every Saturday since my grandma died. Now he's there with her. I watched them seal the cover , and saw my grandmother's casket slide to the back, as he was put in front. Both names printed on the wall. Then it rained the biggest rain, the tent we were under was filling up with water on top. My cousin said it was God washing away the fire. Well I hope so. I hope he didn't hurt too bad when he was being burned. That's the post for today. Learn what you can and call someone you love today you haven't spoken to in a while. And now that's how this story ends.

posted by anthonygrieco @ 6:16 PM Comments: 3