Monday, July 10, 2006

I never really made a formal announcement...

After 1025 posts, and since may 30th 2004, 3 years ago, I have posted audio and wrote politically incorrect opinions and argued with fellow bloggers and made a few friends and enemies and put up stupid pictures. I have taken a lot of time off here and there. Things are just going here, I'm still me. My wife and kids are still here, we've had a lot of people coming and going, stepchildren in for visitation, my father in law, a shitzu that went back home, six new kittens, two more cats (now we have 3 adults and 3 kittens left) just a lot of upturned situations. I've fought a few battles here and there. I still like Bush, still deal with ghettoism and negative shit. My old strip club has been taken over by more competent people. Shawn and Gavin still have menages club, where my wife is still bartender. I still help out a little. I'm out of the club business, but now I have a little more credibility and respect because two of my biggest detractors have been dealt with. I get a lot of love when I walk in a place I used to work. Nowdays I'm just a guy who tells stories about the "good old days" , and can say that most of the people running a lot of clubs or working in them started out with me. I tell the stories better than they do. I think that's why some folks like seeing me around, they told stories that were probably dismissed as bullshit until I came back around and confirmed them. Sometimes I feel like it's all over for me having a career that affords any "recognition". I sometimes hate telling stories and being and entertainer inthese situations because I feel nowdays I have no more stories to tell. I like being a dad , husband, etc. but the money and actually being "good" at somthing kind of seems like somthing that's just another story. I'm not broke. Just lacking that "goal" of moving up. I spent so damn long always thinking my hard work was going to pay off. I thought I'd make enough money without stealing my ass off like most of those people who surpassed me. I was wrong. If I would have exploited people or sold drugs to my employees or just done one damn thing I wasn't supposed to, I would be master of my environment by now. It is a shitty way to think , I know. But I look at REALITY. I payed attention to those who have what I was working for an most all of them are theives or those who took the "wrong" or "easy" path. SO I try to put that negative crap aside, pick myself up and continue on. I still have my little side things I do, plus I'm still working for my father. I'm pretty good at that too. I always put 100 percent into any of my work. I just sometimes wish I had somthing to shoot for that would bring in the "big money". Anyone who thinks pursuit of money is not a good thing must not have kids or ambition or a desire to improve the quality in which you live. Don't get me wrong, I know lots of fucked up rich people. I just think I've taken it as far as I can in "middle income" land and am totally ready to move up. I just have no direction at the moment. Furthering education is the favorite subject of the inexperienced at life when it comes to "moving up" in life. I have a mortgage to pay, reponsibilities, what the fuck would I go to school at this point for? Business? fuck . I 've already ben running succesful places for years now. Just never made enough to get controling interest. If I could get a loan for school, I'd be better off getting a loan for somthing I already know how to do instead of pushing myslef and losing my house while having a pipe dream of "when I get out of school I'll make this big money" well those are dreams of the spoiled and ignorant and inexperieced. I watch too many people never use thieir education as anything other than a basis of trust. In other words looking good enough to get a loan because they have an educational background, or getting folks to take them seriously because they are supposed to be "smart" . Meanwhile they invest in places I run, and know shit about real life. I make them rich, and then they hire out little college idiots like them and call me a wop or a "street smart guy" who's no longer fit to run their business after I've had to teach them how. Yeah I'll bet a mid thirties guy like me with an online degree or a degree from a state school really makes an impressive resume. Especially if I put in all the strip clubs I've run and porn stars I've booked and how about telling them about my phone sex business or sites selling porn, or running an after hours club or massage parlor, and then how about how I've worked construction as a residential electrician as well, or done graphics for a concert shirt company. Then how about picking up gambling slips off of assholes for extra money? I would look like a fucking joke. I'm the kind of guy who has to manufacture his own luck. Things are OK for me here. It's just that the "adventure movie" is over on this end. I have nothing left but old ass stories. Or I could bitch about mexicans and politics or whatever. But what's the point anymore? Plenty of folks do that shit better than I can. SO I'd have to say for now, this is the end of my story, unless somthing changes on my end. Things have turned around for a lot of folks here on the internet. Look at Barrie, she met a guy. She's dating , moving foward , great. And she hardly puts anything on her blog anymore because she's busy. Maybe I'll come in every now and then. I've just spent more time on working out, self improvement and watching movies, doing stuff with the wife an kids, etc. Me and the wife still love each other. Anniversary coming up. I guess I'll put up some pictures after this, maybe for old time's sake.I'm on myspace , anthony grieco,look me up. Some of my old employees are on my friends list. I guess this is time for the credits to roll. You guys take care, have a great life. And just think about that...