What's Happening...

I went to the club this weekend and ran into a guy I knew from the porn business named Daniel. He used to do movies with Sierra, this black girl who used to dance down here, who's now a big porn star. The day before a woman who sometimes works for us says to me, "Tony you're too young to have the experiences you say you have had". This lady is about 3 or 4 years older than me, Has a straight job etc. and her and her husband are swingers. I felt like shit because I cannot stand when someone questions the shit I say , basically trying to act as if it doesn't matter if I'm a "bullshitter" they still find me "entertaining". Now I knew life would end up this way. So I saved fucking every ad, took every picture I could take, and did everything I could to preserve my history. As time passes , my stories seem more and more unrealistic, due to the times I lived in changing as the adult industry is taken over by ex Denny's night manager's. No more gunfights, car bombs, riots, no more crazy hhh cup breasted porn stars trashing hotels and getting kicked off of airplanes. No more 14 hour car trips to the club near the ocean on a tour , then walking down the beach trying to escort a girl in a bikini with balloon tits down the beach while little kids stare ,horny idiots go nuts, and mom's get mad as hell we're even there. No more fighting legislation,dealing with gangsters, owners in jail, talking 18 year old girls into going home when they waited until 12 AM outside the club to turn 18 so they could "audition".No more getting phonecalls 24/7 from dancers and their moms, husbands , kids and boyfriends asking for support and advice. The funny thing is , when my friend Daniel appeared at the club doing "s & m" sessions for some of the other employees, a lot of memories of the crazy life came back. The day after I was called a "bullshitter" by a actually nice lady , a guy comes in who tells me the same shit happend to him. We are guys who have no credibility around the "real" world because the "real " world folks think they know more about how people like us have lived than we do. I feel a type of lonliness sometimes, that comes from the fact that I am becoming older and feeling like the old dying man on the movie " Big Fish" or the old men in "Secondhand Lions" . I tell stories that are 100 percent true, if anything watered down to avoid my incrimination , and people kind of smile and thinking " man this guy is a "character" (as the old folks say). Sometimes I think I should stop. Just reinvent myself and become a preacher who says "fuck" a lot. The way I feel is the same reason putting a mob guy in witness protection almost never works. The guy goes back to who he was because losing "the life" isn't as bad as losing the understanding and credibility you even get from your enemies becuase they know where you've been. Most guys get out of places I've been through a bullet, OD or whatever. I just hope when I die , all the characters from my stories show up . Then maybe I won't look so crazy. But hey it's not so bad, I have a hot wife and a family , etc. I get the bills paid. What more is there? I guess to those who don't know me and never knew the "life" I could at least be a source of entertainment. But sometimes when I'm talking my shit and looking at someone who has that condescending smile on, I just remember there's 3 ballbats in the car, a gun in my pocket and one on my ankle. Whenever I need to go back, I guess the red phone is always there. Just watch who you call a liar...

posted by anthonygrieco @ 1:26 PM Comments: 0