It's all in the weather...

This is my favorite kind of day. I think it is because I was born this time of year. I hate getting any older, and it took me the first 23 years of my life to realize that life wasn't gonna just "start". I spent a great deal feeling like the gun went off for the race and I was sitting there with my eyes closed and opened them and all of the sudden everyone else, even the spectators had left me there. On a day like today. I even talked to the Jehovah's witnesses this morning. I have spent a few weeks around some old ghosts. Old ideas and old friends, enemies and aquaintences. I laughed and joked with a guy who was on the other side of our gun barrels three years ago.Met his wife. Hell , I've worked for guys and with guys I've been shot at by before. Now I'm not 40 yet. Still got a few years , not many but a few until then. I watch my parents, remember the fighting, and see they still have each other. They now have no parents. I think about how one day my parents could be gone, If I outlive them, and see how it passes on , you get old , wife /husband dies, everyone you know , and then it just keeps going. That's how it is if you live to be old. I love my wife. She is more than a beautiful woman to me, she is my friend and makes me laugh. I hope if the time comes we lose our parents we are still here for each other. I don't mind when folks check her out. I get irritated whenever guys try to look as if they could "get her away" from me by "throwing game". I don't play games , games are for children. But every man knows when his women is being hit on and the guy involved just sees you as an obstacle who needs to be realistic and leave the room so nature can "take it's course". And this pisses me off, that another man can totally discount me and think my woman is nothing but an "oppourtunist" . This is the women I want there when I have to deal with the rest of my life. And I cannot stand that constant "player" mentality that's based in ignorant minds of people who fall for the whole ghetto lie that they are this male "sex object." Problem is some women actaully see that as "confidence" . Just like guys who are insecure and bisexual being looked at as they are "secure with themselves " by women who just don't get it.I have been with some very beautiful women in my life, but my wife is the overall best package of beauty and being a mom and taking care of me. I have been thinking about lots of folks I've passed along the way , and been spending time with Shawn and my wife and the "crew" . We close Menages down at 2 AM , and have been going into Babes to visit. I have run into old customers , old dancers, old friends. Saw a girl we called "Psycho Sadie" , used to date my old manager . Think about all the folks I used to hang with , the old stories. And I realize my mother's father was right. Before he died he told me, " Getting old is basically remembering things. The more memories you have , sometimes the older you feel inside. Because it doesn't make much more sense at 80 than it did at 18 when it's all over. You learn why life is what it is, and realize making sense of everything is never gonna happen. So just enjoy the stories of your life." My dad told me, " Most people make their mistakes becuase they are waiting for life to "happen". It already happened. You do what you have to do and that's it. Life is fame for some folks and working for others. If you're a billionare, you can afford to be a drug addict. If you're not rich never try drugs, because you can't afford that shit as a habit. Bill Gates can do coke everyday. But these other folks,even these pretty girls are gonna quit getting it free one day when they lose their looks and everyone else will get killed or go to jail. "Last night I was sitting outside last night, laughing and entertaining my coworkers, putting on the "Grieco show" of just being me. Folks who know me and know I make them laugh with my crazy shit all these years always say I should do a damn show. I really cannot do so much of my "comedy type shit" here, that side of my personality is hard to put here. But I think of it this way, my life is constantly "happening". I have loved to entertain folks my whole life, and many folks have looked at me as "wasted potential" due to whatever reason. I wish sometimes I was making more money and I had more "fame" in my life because I love to entertain people and love the "rush"of being "off the hook" as myself. But I look at all the folks I have passed as think maybe I will be remebered as more special than I would be if I was "famous". Because the legend tends to grow every few years. There is nothing like running into old co workers and hearing stories of crazy shit you did times 10 . When I woke up from a nap the other day, I smelled my wife's cooking and walked into the kitchen and thought, "It doesn't get better." I remember my mom's cooking as a child and now I feel strange sometimes as a new woman I wake up to is cooking for me . My wife is the first woman in my life of many who actually gave me that feeling, the food, the way we sleep in the bed, even the way we argue at times all feelis like home. So I know where I should be. Life started . Guess what ? I opened my eyes again and the people were there at the race. It was over and trophies were given out . I sat down, had a glass of water and said, " This isn't my race..."

posted by anthonygrieco @ 8:12 AM Comments: 2