I am not feeling well...

I don't know why. I haven't had a lot of time to write. I helped my friend Steve , who owns a cleaning company . We cleaned this government building. This was some spooky shit. The place looked dead up like a fucking "Resident Evil" video game, like they designed the screens from this place. I had worked since 5 AM , got off at 5 PM and went to work for him to help him out since he had a call in. You never realize how dirty people are until you clean a building after them. The nastiest table was the smoking table. And the women's restroom was nasty in one building. Anyway, more on my "moods". Maybe you women can explain fucking hormone shit to me.I feel like my "male hormones" are fucking me up or somthing. One minute I feel like driving to California, next minute I miss my wife. I love my wife , hate to think of being seperated because I waited so long for a decent woman to spend my time with. I remember being in other realtionships, where money was better for both of us, and just thinking to myself "what is wrong with this bitch? Doesn't she see what we could have , the places we could go , the things we could do? " But the money ended up going to drugs and bullshit , things that could have built quite a full life for two people but were wasted on crap. Could have stayed in business, etc. I never did the drugs, never bought them. But living with a drug addict costs dearly in every way. Now I have a wife that loves me and we have fun together. We went to Vegas once, left the kids with the folks. I knew then that we could be old people and have fun together .Didn't have to spend a shitload of money, just happy walking down that strip, from Mandilay Bay to the Rivera. Never forget how my wife looked that week. I guess somtimes I just wish I could take back everything from people in my life who don't deserve it , and give it to my wife. I hope we always have each other, because I'm just tired. Tired of getting to know new people, tired of caring for someone else, tired of never having a history . I have this trail of enemies , mostly made up of folks I helped and made careers for. But people hate you when you knew them when they weren't shit and they got a new batch of followers who think they are "self made". And it's even worse when you got nothing they want anymore. I got the one special thing though, I got my wife , the kids. Maybe my days of being the big "Club Owner/ Godfather " are over. But I still got my place in life. And a hell of a lot of stories.

posted by anthonygrieco @ 5:29 PM Comments: 2